


It Was Always You

by kmsmitty



Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 17:18:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmsmitty/pseuds/kmsmitty
Summary: So, I had a dream a while ago, and I turned it into this story. I hate my brain, but honestly, sometimes it blesses me. This was one of those times.





	It Was Always You

"Jiho! Come on! You're gonna be late!"

"I know! Hold on!"

She should know that you can't rush perfection. I mean, honestly.

I ran downstairs and kissed my mother on her cheek. She pulled me into her arms. "Nervous for your first day?"

I wiggled out of her hug and looked into her eyes. "Not really. I'm more nervous about getting lost than about my classes."

I had been accepted into a performing arts school. Mom had wanted me to go off to a regular college, study business, become an entrepreneur. She always believed that I was just a terrible test taker. Truth is, I wasn't as smart as she liked to pretend I was, and I had no passion for it.

But dance? I lived for it. So I decided to make it my major. I hoped one day to be a choreographer. To have my own studio. To teach little kids routines. To never truly have to work because I loved my job so much.

"You'll do fine, my sweet. Better get moving. Call me when you're on your way home."

"I will. I love you."

~

I sprinted. I knew that I was going to get lost. Campus wasn't even that big, but somehow, I still managed it. I remembered from the campus tour that the music building was attached to the dance building. I saw a statue of a cello and sighed. Finally. I ran through the front doors...

...and smacked directly into someone.

"What the hell, man? Watch what you're doing. Stupid freshman."

He picked up his bag, shoving his books back in, rather aggressively, as he glared at me. I blinked back at him, feeling red creeping up my neck and into my face.

"Oh. Oh, crap. I'm. I'm so sorry. Here. Let me - "

"I got it," he snarled as he yanked the score sheets out of my hands. I recoiled away from him and stood up.

"You know, you would think you dance majors would be more coordinated with your limbs. It's not like you own the damn hallway. Figure it out."

He stood up to move past me. I called out after him, "Hey. How did you know I'm a dance major?"

He stopped walking and turned ever so slightly back toward me. He smirked. "Well, you're in sneakers, sweats, and don't have a backpack. You're either lost or a dance major...but it looks like, in your case, you're both."

He turned on his heel and pushed through the double doors. Wow. He's pleasant.

"Don't worry about him. He's just butthurt that he didn't get first at the concert this past weekend. Let it go."

I turned around to find another music major standing in the doorway to the concert hall. He smiled, walking toward me. "His name is Taeyang, and until I graduate, he will always be second place. Hi, I'm Kangjoon."

I stuck my hand out to shake his. "I'm Jiho. It's my first day. As you can see, I'm off to a great start."

Kangjoon grinned wide. "Yeah, you bulleted through that doorway. I'm surprised Taeyang didn't explode on impact. Don't worry. I was late my first day, too. Tried to sneak into my theory class, and knocked over a drum kit. The cymbals announced my presence. It was so embarrassing. You still have time, and you've only upset a surly upperclassman, not a professor. The day is salvageable."

He turned to head down the hallway, and I yelled "Thank you" after him. He waved in response. Maybe today wouldn't be terrible.

~

"So how did it go?" my mother asked as we ate dinner. I recounted my day, how I got lost, almost ran over a stranger, met a kind senior, and survived my first 3 classes, which each had their own individual work out that I had to do afterward. I was beat.

"I'm just gonna go to bed," I yawned at my mom, moving to clear the table. She nodded, and I headed upstairs.

I fell asleep the second I hit my pillow, but not before a boy with glasses and cinnamon hair flashed across my thoughts.

~

I arrived earlier the next day, hoping to avoid needing to run, as my legs hurt from the workouts from the day before. I was also kind of hoping to catch Taeyang to properly apologize.

I waited outside the practice room I had assumed he had stepped out of yesterday for him. At ten til 9, he walked out, flinching when he saw me sitting there across the hall. I smiled meekly and stood up.

"Here, I got this for you. I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I'm sorry. I genuinely didn't see you. I was so nervous that I - "

"Yeah. I know. It's fine. Thanks. Wait, what is this?"

He looked down at the cup I had handed him, giving it a swirl with his hands.

"Oh, um, it's hot chocolate. I didn't know what kind of coffee you like, and I hate coffee, so I wanted to get something I could drink if you weren't here, and, yeah. Sorry."

I turned on my heel and ran toward my class. Why did I feel so anxious around him? I was normally so calm, so put together. Confident. A little cocky. But he made me feel like a complete mess. It was unnerving.

I had already bolted, so I didn't see it, but the boy with cinnamon hair smiled, raised his cup to me, and left.

~

"Why are you panting? Did you already find someone to hook up with?" Hansol asked, giggling. Byungjoo rolled his eyes, pushing Hansol out of his lap. Hojoon wiggled his eyebrows and said, "I bet it's that girl from lyrical. You're such a slut, Jiho."

I huffed in response. I was fine with Hansol making fun of me, but the other two, who had known Sollie for years and me for about 50 minutes, not so much.

"I don't even know her name, Hojoon," I retorted back at him, sitting down, and starting to stretch. "Hey, that's never stopped me before," he laughed. My gaze snapped to Hansol, who openly scoffed. "Yeah, except you're a dickpig. Have you ever even looked at a girl?"

Hojoon gasped, "How dare you? I am King Dickpig to you!"

Byungjoo snorted and slapped Hojoon's shoulder, moving to sit closer to me as we both stretched our legs out. "Her name is No Eul. She's cute. You should ask her out."

I stared back at him. I didn't even know who he was talking about, but I smiled and nodded my head.

Again, Taeyang popped into my mind. What was going on?

~

I found myself getting to class earlier and earlier. In response, Taeyang left his practice studio earlier and earlier. Finally, I asked him to lunch one day. He smiled at me and agreed. My stomach flipped in a way it hadn't in years. I tried to ignore it.

We walked to the cafeteria on campus. I grabbed a tray and tapped my fingers against it as we weaved through the line. I wondered if I would actually be able to eat. Taeyang made me so nervous.

Taeyang chose a seat next to the windows. He closed his eyes and leaned into the light streaming in from outside. I smiled. "I guess your parents destined you to love the sun, given your name and all..."

Taeyang slowly opened his eyes, a grin creeping across his face. I had never noticed the dimple in his right cheek. Cute.

"Yeah. I love it. Except it I always get burnt and then have these." He leaned forward to show me freckles that were spotted across his nose and high cheekbones.

It was out of my face before I could stop myself. "Oh, you don't like them? I think you look adorable."

Silence.

My entire body flushed, from my toes to the tops of my ears. I was, in a word, mortified. I looked around the table, desperately searching for something to stab myself with, when I saw one of Taeyang's practice books. It was opened to a page that said, "Liszt: Sonata in B Minor." Using that, I tried to change the subject.

"So, you're a music major. What instrument do you play?"

Taeyang blinked at me for a few moments, then shook his head as if to clear it. "Piano. I play piano. That's my major. I'm minoring in producing. I probably stand a better chance at having an actual job with that rather than just hoping to play piano. Don't get me wrong; I'd love that, prefer that. But it just might not work out that way. I can't even beat Kangjoon at concerts here. There's no way I could compete in the real world."

Taeyang looked at me like he could see through me. I felt sheepish for asking. I also knew better than to try to lie and say it wasn't true. It probably was. So I settled on something that was completely true.

"Well, I'm sure you are a better pianist than I could ever be. My fingers just don't work that way."

Taeyang smirked, looking down at my hands. "That's a pity. You certainly have the fingers for it. Long and skinny." He gasped to himself, his face turning red. I wasn't totally sure why. I thought it best to not ask.

"So, uh, you-you like to da-dance?" he mumbled, trying to regain composure. I clapped my hands. "YES! I have been dancing since I was 3 years old. I have taken every class you can imagine. Ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, but hip hop is my passion. We have a showcase coming up. You should come!"

Taeyang looked up from his rice and smiled. "I don't know anything about dance, but sure. I'll go. On one condition. Stop by the practice studio tomorrow. Early. 8 o'clock. I want to show you something."

I felt a jolt of nerves in my stomach. He wanted to show me something? What could that be? Do I go?

I nodded my head. "I'll be there."

~

I got to the practice studio just before 8. I was a ball of nerves. I couldn't figure out why Taeyang gave me such anxiety, but he did. I took a deep breath and pushed through the door.

Taeyang was seated at a piano in the center of the room. He had a practice book set up, and he was making notes in the margins. I cleared my throat, and he turned around.

"Oh, good. You came. So I went home and found my practice books from when I was a kid. I found a piece that I think you can learn. We're going to play it together. You'll play the right hand. I'll play the left. Come here."

I looked down at my shoes. This certainly wasn't going to help my nerves. Yes, thanks, Taeyang. I'll just look like a jackass so that you can have a laugh at my expense.

"Is this pay back for running you over the other day? Because I said that I was sorry," I blurted out, trying to deflect from the situation.

Taeyang flinched. "No. It's not. I just, thought this might be fun. You have the fingers for it. Just not the heart. I was hoping I could change that."

Wait, what? What the hell does that mean? I could feel my eyebrows knit together. Taeyang must have sensed my struggle.

"I went home and watched Center Stage to try to understand what it's like to be a dancer. A girl told her mom something similar when she quit at the end. I was trying to be funny, but I guess you haven't seen it."

"You memorized a line from a cheesy, girly, ballerina movie?" I laughed out. Who is this kid?

"You said that you had taken ballet classes!!! Whatever, just come sit by me."

I chuckled and shook my head as I walked toward the piano. Taeyang huffed as I sat down, and I had to suppress the urge to hug him.

"Okay. I'm going to teach you the notes. This white key is Middle C. This is where you should orient yourself whenever you go to play, okay?" I nodded my head.

"All right, so the black key to the right is C sharp or D flat. The next white key is D. The next black is D sharp or E flat."

I took my hand off the keys, and gave him the hardest side eye in the history of human events.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. How can one key have two names associated with it?" I crossed my arms across my chest, tapping my foot against the pedals.

"Okay, for our purposes, not important. The next white key is F, then G, then A, then B."

"What about the black keys?"

"They are either sharps or flats, you know this. Don't get smart."

"I don't know shit, actually. But okay."

Taeyang sighed. Heavily. I felt it as much as I heard it.

"Alright, so put your thumb on Middle C...close, move over one...other way...there! Okay. Now play D with your pointer finger. Now E with your middle finger. Now swoop your thumb under and play F with it. I know it feels weird. Good job. Now G with your pointer. Then A, B, C. Look at you! Your first scale!"

Taeyang held my hand tight and then hugged me. I sat completely still, suddenly very aware of how clammy my hands were, and tried not to breathe. He pulled away slowly.

"That was great! See? You do have the fingers for it!"

I smiled at him. He seemed so genuinely happy. I realized that I liked how his hand fit in mine. I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind.

~

Taeyang came to the showcase later that week. I purposefully ignored him the entire performance. I was nervous enough without thinking about him, and what I may or may not have been feeling for him.

I had worked hard on the group piece that I performed with Hansol, Byungjoo, and Hojoon. The audience had a really positive response to it. Mainly because Byungjoo humped the floor, but hey, whatever. I wasn't mad.

Taeyang rushed the stage when it was all over, clapping the whole way. I leaned down to bow at the same time he hopped up to hug me, and our lips smacked into each other. Briefly. Before his chin caught my nose. Which started pouring blood. Only me.

"Oh, my God! Jiho! Are you okay?! I could die right now! I'm so sorry! Oh, my God!" Taeyang pulled me into a hug. I wasn't sure if it was because I was delirious, but I whispered in his ear, "I'll forgive you if you do one thing for me..." Taeyang nodded. "Anything."

I smiled. "Kiss me again once my nose stops bleeding?" Taeyang smiled. "Why wait?"

~

We started dating a few weeks later, once I had come to terms with the fact that Taeyang was, in fact, a man, and I was, in fact, very much attracted to him. Taeyang didn't need an adjustment period. He thought everyone was beautiful, and up for grabs. He wasn't at all perturbed by my y chromosome.

He would come to my practices, and lick the sweat off my body afterward in the locker room. I would go to his practice studio and flip his pages for him, when I wasn't on my knees in front of him, making him mash the pedals as I worked him.

We carried on this way for months. But then...

Taeyang had his final concert coming up. I was told I could no longer come to the practice studio. He had to memorize 3 pieces and write one of his own. To say that he was stressed out didn't even begin to describe how on edge he was. I did my best to take his mind off things, but honestly, I didn't know what to do. So I let him work and poured myself into my dancing. I had my own finals to worry about.

~

It was the night before Taeyang's concert. He had told me to dress nice and come to the practice studio at 8. I put on a black sweater and dark blue jeans and headed toward the music building.

Taeyang was standing there next to the piano when I arrived. He had on a white shirt with a black tie and black pants. His coat was draped off the seat beside him. He held out his hand to me, and I walked forward.

"Hi, baby. I wanted to debut this piece to you first. I have been working on it for 2 years, but I never felt that it was right. All of my teachers have always given me the same critique: Taeyang, you could make 'Ode to Joy' sound melancholy. And they're right. There has always been a sadness in my playing. I never understood why. But I think I've figured it out."

Taeyang kissed my cheek and sat me down next to him. He started playing scales, his tongue worrying his bottom lip. A nervous habit I had grown quite fond of.

"What did you figure out, Tae?"

He smirked. "It was you. The sadness in my notes was my fingers reaching out to try to find someone who understood me. My chords sounded sharp because I didn't have you to show me that they were in the wrong key. Jiho, it was always you. This is my gift to you."

Taeyang started out in E Minor. His favorite key. I recognized the beginning. He would play a version of it whenever we had spent too much time apart, when his loneliness would creep in. His fingers moved across the keys with such torment. I looked into his eyes. There were tears brimming, but he held them back.

As he continued, he began to play faster. There wasn't such a heaviness to his fingers. They moved with ease across the octaves. I felt my mouth hang open. I didn't bother trying to close it.

Taeyang looked over to me, and smiled the softest smile I had ever seen. He played a few measures from the one piece I had been able to master, making it my favorite. Concert Etude in E Minor. And then, it was like he was a completely different person.

My ears couldn't believe it. He wasn't playing in a minor key. This, this was happy. He looked happy. His hands looked light. The notes reverberated off the walls. I looked at him in shock. Taeyang laughed. He ended with a flourish, and stood up. He bowed to me, and I wiped the tears I didn't realize were streaming down my face.

"Thank you for helping me find the joy in playing again. I don't know when I lost it. But you've returned it to me, and I don't know how to thank you enough."

I stood up to face him. He was so tiny. I took his face in my hands and connected my lips with his. I kissed him slowly, gently. Taeyang melted into the kiss, leaning against me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I pressed my tongue to his bottom lip, asking him to open his mouth. He sighed and quickly obliged, licking into my mouth. I bit his bottom lip and pulled back gently, hearing him hiss at the sensation. I pulled away and looked down at him.

"You know that I love you, right?" I had never properly told him. It had never seemed like the right time. "Of course, I do. I love you, too, Ji."

I backed him up against the piano. I lifted him up onto it, making the keys clang as his weight landed on them. I kissed down his jawline and onto his neck, as I removed his tie. Fingers fumbling, I flicked the buttons of his shirt open, and slid it off his arms. "Hands, Tae."

Taeyang put his hands out in front of him, and I wrapped his tie around his wrists. Tight. "Put them up over your head, hyung." Taeyang nodded as he whimpered. I moved down to his belt, kissing his chest and stomach as I unzipped his pants, sliding them down and off his legs. I stood back a bit to look at him.

Taeyang's pupils were blown out. There was sweat running down his torso. His legs were shaking, and there was a distinct wet spot on his boxers where his precome-slicked dick strained against them. He looked so broken. My eyes raked over his body hungrily.

I walked forward and took the waistband of his boxers in my hand. I slowly pulled them down, freeing his cock, which I grabbed with my other hand. I worked Taeyang to full hardness, delighting in the whiny moans that seemed to get caught in his throat.

I sat down on the chair before him and looked up at him through my lashes. He clamped his eyes shut and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth as I licked a stripe up the underside of his cock. I licked my lips and took the head into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it before moving further down. I bobbed up and down for a few minutes, before I felt the familiar twitch in his thighs that signified that he was close, and pulled completely off of Taeyang.

Taeyang looked down at me, wild-eyed. "Wh-why did you stop?"

The truth was, I was going to edge the literal fuck out of him, but what I responded was,

"I want to make it last for you, hyung. You're so good to me. I want to repay you."

I stood up and told him to open his mouth. "Suck, baby." Taeyang swirled his tongue around my fingers. I felt my pants become uncomfortably tight, but I pushed the thought away.

I lifted Taeyang's legs over my shoulders, and began working him open with my fingers. I knew the exact places to press at the exact speed that would unravel him; so of course, I did just that. Taeyang was so easy to get off. Nothing in life came easier than him.

Taeyang began pulling on his restraints, another clear sign that he was close. I pressed against his prostate a few more times before removing my fingers and backing away again. He sat bolt upright and glared at me.

"What, baby? I'll be right there. Keep your eyes on me."

His eyes widened a bit as he realized what I was about to do. Painfully slowly, I began to strip for him. I pulled my sweater up and off, tossing it to the ground. I shook my blond hair out of my eyes, and I stared at Tae. The smallest whimper left his lips, and I smiled to myself. I undid the button on my jeans and walked forward.

I pulled Taeyang's hands back in front of him, allowing him to touch my chest and torso. I unzipped my jeans, and let them crumple to the floor before stepping out of them. I heard Taeyang growl low in his throat, and I felt it in my dick. I put his hands back and slid out of my boxers. I put my hand up to his mouth. "Spit, baby."

I used his saliva to coat myself before throwing his legs back over my shoulders. In one fluid motion, I snapped my hips forward. Hard. Taeyang cried out as I pulled back and slammed back in again, the piano keys underneath us clanging out sharp chords.

I pounded into Taeyang, skin slapping against skin. I had my lips on his pulse and my teeth across his chest, marking him anywhere I could reach. Taeyang had his head leaned back, mouth wide open, but he had long since lost the ability to make sound. His moans died in his throat, but his breathing was hard and erratic.

Taeyang wrapped his legs around me, begging me to go deeper. I angled my hips and thrust into his spot as hard as I could. I kept up this unrelenting pace until I saw Taeyang's teeth start to chatter. I smirked and immediately pulled out of him.

"WHAT THE FUCK, JIHO?! I SWEAR TO GOD!"

"What? What are you going to do, hyung?"

Taeyang stared at me. He knew as well as I did that he wasn't going to do or say anything. He loved when I edged him. Not in the moment, but the end result would all magically be worth it.

"Alright, I'm sorry, baby. Come here." I removed the tie from his wrists. He hopped down from the piano and sat me back down in the chair. Taeyang took the tie from my hands and tied my wrists behind the back of the chair. I smiled. Smart boy.

Taeyang leaned in and kissed me deeply, his tongue exploring my mouth. I moaned into his mouth, and he moved to straddle my legs. He sat down, rocking back and forth until he was comfortably seated. He used the legs of the chair for leverage, and began bouncing in my lap. I leaned my head back, wishing that I had my hands free, so I could grab his ass.

Taeyang began to slowly grind against me, his fingers scratching into the shaved sides of my hair. He pulled my head back by my hair with his left hand as he fisted his own cock with his right. I moaned low in my throat. He felt so good.

"I love when you ride me, hyung. God. Fuck, Tae."

Taeyang let out a high pitched whine. He was beginning to lose it. I wanted to help tip him over the edge. I began thrusting up into him with all my might. He ground down harder, rutting against me, head back, mouth open.

"Fuck, Jiji. Go! Go!"

I thrust up into Taeyang at a rapid pace, knowing that he was merely seconds away from coming. He let out a strangled cry, and I felt him clench around me as he came. The tight heat I was in became too much, and I followed him not long after.

Once his breathing slowed, I kissed his forehead. "You better beat Kangjoon tomorrow."

 

~

 

And he did.


End file.
